Horrible dream

I was sleeping and it happened while I was sleeping. Only a few metres away I was, and I "let" it happen.

Only later did mum say something happened at night. I was horrified, absolutely disgusted, absolutely ashamed, because I know what it feels like to be violated. Again and again. And mum could not resist, for she was too weak and bound to the bed. Her arms had no strength to resist... And it happened again and again.... I let it happen again and again...

I was shocked awake by the dream, the horrible, horrible dream... How could my brain, my tortured mind, come up with such stories and fantasies? Why am I even imagining these terrible, terrible scenes and occurrences?

Horrible, horrible dream, at three in the morning...

Abuse

A harrowing report on child abuse... and this is just in the United States.

"Abused children are 74 times more likely to commit crimes against others and six times more likely to maltreat their own children..."

This begs so many questions I do not know if I can ever answer...  

Shock...

My skin crawled and my heart sunk when I heard the news. This should happen to no one! No one! I thought to myself.

"... she was taking the train when it happened. On the train between Schiphol (airport) and Amsterdam. She was in a carriage with no one else, but this one other guy..."

Shudder... disgust...

"...the guy was sitting opposite her. She was just reading a book or something, and she looked up, and saw the guy jerking off. She stood up to walk away, and he followed her..."

Shock... horror...

"... he pinned her into a corner, and forced her into the toilet. And raped her."

I looked away, imagining what horrible torture the girl must have underwent, and what a horrible person that guy is to do such a horrible thing to another human being. I don't know this girl, but I felt for her, and tried to imagine what pain and traumas she had to endure... My friend who told me this was almost shaking after recounting the story.

We were silent for a few moments after that, unsure how to change the subject, unsure whether to change the subject that had changed the atmosphere of a friendly get-together so dramatically.

Rape... such a strong word, such a dirty word. It's not so much the act itself, but the significance of what it does to another human being, and the meaning behind it that makes it so traumatic. It's being out of control of your body and mind, being subdued to such indescribable physical and emotional trauma, and being violated against your will by someone you don't even know... Believe me, it hurts... perhaps the worse thing that another person can do to another...

The girl is recovering now, and awaiting pregnancy and STD (sexually transmitted diseases) test results. The police are now on the case.

But countless many are not so lucky, as countless many live and hide in shame, afraid to tell, afraid that when other people know their ordeals, they will be stigmatised for life.

May they find the strength to live on, and to deal with the pain... May they find the abilitiy to heal, and be able to walk out of the shadows...

"Sexual abuse takes a heavy toll in Africa"

Worrying report carried by the NY Times on the prevelance of child (sex) abuse, and 'violence of silence'...

Africa is not unique in its high rates of abuse. While a survey of nine countries last year by the World Health Organization found the highest incidence of child sexual abuse in Namibia — more than one in five women there reported being sexually abused before age 15 — it also found frequent abuse in Peru, Japan and Brazil, among other nations. Relatives are frequent perpetrators in Africa, as in much of the world.

"He destroyed my life and my body," she said.

Painful.

Sexual misconduct in the army...

...sometimes starts from the moment of recruitment.

The sexual misconduct almost always takes place in recruiting stations, recruiters apartments or government vehicles. The victims are typically between 16 and 18 years old, and they usually are thinking about enlisting. They usually meet the recruiters at their high schools, but sometimes at malls or recruiting offices.

Shocking thing is that most perpetrators are let off lightly, either with demotion or loss of pay, very unlikely in prosecution.

A weak defence for the prevelance of this kind of behaviour:

"Let's face it, these guys are handsome in their uniform, they're mature, they give a lot of attention to these girls, and as recruiters they do a lot of the same things that guys do when they want to appeal to girls. There's a very fine line there, and it can be very hard to maintain a professional approach."

But what about trust, imbalance of power relations, and the fact that these 'professional' recruiters hold the key to the future of these unsuspecting teens? If anything, the army/armed services should be the one sector of employment that preaches discipline and professionalism more than anywhere else.

See this for more on sexual misconduct in the US army.

UPDATE 24Aug2006

Here's even more

A survey of the U.S. military academies released last year found that more than 50 percent of female respondents and 11 percent of male respondents experienced some type of sexual harassment since enrolling. That survey also found 64 incidents of sexual assault among the more than 1,900 females at the service academies.

Sexuality in the US army

• Gays in the US military can be discharged for being openly gay. But a West Point student recently received an award his thesis, which argued that “the military's policy banning gays is not only wrong, but harmful to the Army”. (First read on the Daily Dish)

“

Under the Pentagon's policy, the military is prohibited from inquiring about the sex lives of service members, but those who openly acknowledge being gay must be discharged. There were 726 military members discharged under the policy during the year that ended last Sept. 30.”
[…]
"I have a problem where you have a military that says you can't discriminate based on race; in all but very minimal ways you can't discriminate based on gender, and you can't discriminate based on religion or lack of religion. The only people not getting a fair shake were homosexuals," said Raggio, who is from Muncie, Ind., and describes himself as "about the straightest guy you can imagine."

• Sexual abuse in the (US) army. Appalling account of victims subject to more humiliation and chastised, instead of being believed and protected.
  
  

“Women and men have been sending us their stories of sexual abuse and harassment. Jessica was raped multiple times in South Korea and treated like a liar when she tried to report it. Lawanda was raped by a colleague in Afghanistan. When she asked for medical care, she was told she could not receive care until she filed a formal complaint. When she did file her complaint, she was transported to care on the same plane as her attacker. Each of them were humiliated by command and treated with disrespect. Now both women are fighting to come home. Why is it we are not protecting these women? I was speaking at the Oregon Country Fair and a young Iraq vet came up and spoke to me about his ruined mental health after being sexually abused by one of his sergeants. He said, "I would wake up with the sergeant's cock in my mouth." This type of abuse has got to stop.

It's bad enough we are sending our young people to an illegal occupation. But we must draw the line at our military having to defend themselves from sexual predators. […]”

There’s an online petition for Suzanne, an MP who served in Iraq and was sexually abused during her duties. She’s now spending time in jail because she refuses to go back to Iraq, as a result of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as well as Military Sexual Trauma.

Abused girl ignored

The trial of that girl who was abused by various members of her family began yesterday.

It appears that already back in 2003, one year before the then 4-year old girl was taken into foster care, social services were already aware of physical symptoms. These included "red legs, blue bruises and an irritated genital area".

There was a serious failure by the organisation responsible for the girl's wellbeing to act as soon as there were signs of abuse. As a reslt the girl endured more than a year of trauma before she was taken away. The conditions at her family home were described as a "pig stey", but nothing was done at all! How can this be?!

The trial continues.

Incest...again : (

Yet another shocking story of sexual abuse within the family. A girl was sexually abused by four people: her dad, her brother (who was a minor at the time), a family friend and an uncle. It took place when she was five and lasted around five years. The mother did not know.

“Tong kissing, touching, oral sex again and again, attempts to penetrate the body, the whole spectrum of sexual acts the child had to endure possibly hundreds of times by her father and brother, in some cases even by them both at the same time.”

The brother caught the father ‘in the act’ once, and the father actually encouraged the brother to be involved in the abuse. “Absolutely shocking” [ronduit schokkend] the court said.

The father was sentenced to 3 years (1 year conditional), and the brother 1 year (7 months conditional). The father himself was sexually abused. They will both be treated for their “sexual disorder”.

This makes me sick…How can people do this kind of thing to their own children? The girl was mentally retarded as well, and the father and (to some extent) the brother abused her to satisfy their own sexual desires. Sick! I do not care if the father was sexually abused before; so was I but I would never ever do the same thing to another person! I know how it affects a person emotionally and physically, how abuse can tear your soul out of you and leave you dehumanised and lost like you're dead. I know how much it hurts. So saying you were abused to justify your abusive behaviour is just weak!