Nanshi

I began to feel pain in the knees about yesterday afternoon, and the left was more severe than the right. It's strange, for normally it's my right knee that aches when I bike. And last night, when I went to bed, I felt pain when I straightened my left leg.

I slept for over seven hours straight and was waken up by a call. It was my uncle, who had so kindly arranged for me to stay at a very luxurious hotel, which gave the the opportunity to have a nice soak and such long sleep (though, the sleep was disturbed by disturbing dreams...)

After biking for around twenty kilometers or so this morning I saw a bike shop and went in to get a knee strap. I only have, and didn't know I would need two for both my legs. The nice guy at the bike shop and I chatted a bit. It's hard to hide, especially with my bike and luggage carriers and flag of the shape of Taiwan, that I'm on a long bike trip. The guy recommended not only I get straps, but also get some glucosamine for my joints.

So i went to the pharmacy, and the kind lady there showed me some products. She suggested I stop biking altogether, to prevent further staining u knee, for the pain is already a warning that I need to take more care... She gave me some painkillers and also additional sachets of glucosamine for free. "I'd give you an applause for your efforts but your knee is injured...!" she joked as she sent me on my way.

After a break at a convenient store just after leaving Miaoli. When I tried to walk and take the bike up a steep hill, my left knee felt so very sore. Unbearably sore... More so when I straighten my leg entirely. I walked on a bit more, and got on the bike to peddle for a bit, but the pain did not go away...

Then I are a sign pointing to a station. Curiously I went to the empty platform and coincidentally saw the bright headlight of a train coming my way. It was a train I needed. So I hopped aboard.

The pain truly is unbearable, and I really need to quit while I'm ahead to avoid a terrible I injury. Quit, at least for now...

Dashed dream

It was supposed to be along anticipated dream come true. I was felt so alive yesterday, and that first hour or so I got on the bike today. But truly, the pain is unbearable and unlike any I've experienced before...

I went to a specialist pharmacist and explained my problem. He told me to stop my biking plans and to really rest, or otherwise the injury might get even more severe than it already is, for the more I bike on the more strained my muscles around the knee will be.

Perhaps it is difficult to imagine how devastating this news is to me. I have been really planning this, been looking forward to it, believing and telling myself (and others...) again and again that I can do this. But my body cannot... Simply cannot... My body is too weak and I am too weak to do something like this...

Maybe as my brother said, I biked too far and for too long on the very first day. And this after not having exercised for a long time... But still, the disappointment is great, for I had this entire journey planned out, and was all prepared and imagining the beautiful things I would experience and see. The pharmacist (and also the bike shop owner) told me I should really rest and not over-do it...

This was a dream, a personal dream, and a promise to my mum. In fact, I have a "bit of her" with me, symbolically in the form of ash from the incense we offered her those two weeks from her passing to her cremation. And I feel I've let her down, and let myself down...

I need to rest, I know that. I need to train better and prepare myself better for such a strenuous trip. And I know I may most likely have to give up this dream, at least for the time being... (or for ever? I'm not sure...)

But it hurts and is so devastating... Because I placed so much of my hopes and dreams on this very journey...

Biking

Mum's youngest sisters came today. At one moment, a picture of mum biking in the woods flashed across the screen.

"Your mum loved to bike! She would bike to school, bike everywhere! When she was in university, she asked for a bike to be sent to her. She would bike around campus all the time!" My aunt was smiling while she reminisced mum's biking habits. A few moments later, there was another picture of her on a bike, when she biked with me on a trip a few year back, to the eastern part of the island.

I too smiled. I now know more about mum, even though she is gone. I know now where I get my biking interest from, and why every time I bike I feel so happy and so free...