Rushing home

It's 4am.

Earlier, I burst out crying on the phone while talking to a friend, and she kindly invited me over to comfort me, and so that I will not be alone. I don't know if it was the soothing and calm voice of my friend, or whether I had held in my tears while speaking with mum... but I felt hurt and distraught and just poured tears out. My friend offered her shoulder, and warm soup to soothe the pain.

While I was at my friend's place, mum called again. Dad's condition has gone into critical again. She was crying. And I couldn't help but also cry... I told myself to be strong, but I'm not. Mum said that dad is holding on, even though it is very painful, and he is groaning a lot from the pain. Holding on, as if he wants to see me and my brother.

Earlier mum said that she would call me when the situation is really bad. But I didn't expect it to be only hours later. I must go back home, go back to Taiwan. My suitcase has been packed, and it's now just a matter of going to the airport and seeing if there is a last-minute flight to catch.
But it's Lunar New Year in two days, and most likely all the flights are fully booked....

I cannot bare to think that I may have to wait and wait, while my dad holds on and waits for my return......

"Hang on there," I said to mum, my voice wavering, tears wallowing, "Please hang on there. Please tell dad to hang on there and to be strong. And you be strong too. I will be home soon. I promise I will be home soon. I promise. I promise..."

And now I only hope I can live up to that promise sooner than soon.