It felt a little strange to be driving into the Netherlands again (more correctly, riding since I can't drive!). For one thing, the speed limit is only 120km/hr, which seems really, really slow compared to limitless in Germany! Another reason is because after four days, and around 2000km in and around France and Germany, we were all really tired and looking forward to falling into our own beds.
It was a really pleasant trip, even though all the places we went I've already been a couple of times. But it's true that the same places are different each time you visit because of the company you have. With my 'craving' to share beauty and pleasantness with others, I've always wanted to show my mum (and to some extent brother, I guess) all that Strasbourg, Alsace and Heidelberg has to offer. They heard me talk about it, seen all the pictures, and it was about time for them to see how magical these places really are.
We set off early on Monday, and drove through Belgium, towards Luxembourg, where we made a short break. I remember my first-ever trip in Europe was to Luxembourg, and the only thing that stuck to my mind was the stunning view of the valley and the arch-bridge that runs across it in the middle of Luxembourg City. It is today as stunning as before, if not more.... perhaps because now that I'm older I can appreciate the beauty much more.
Then from there we drove toward Strasbourg, and made it there by evening. We weren't all that tired, so we set our luggage down, and off we went exploring in the old city. I've spent so many moments walking around Petite France and the city centre by myself, so I know the alleyways and buildings well. We sat down to dinner by the river-side, at an ancient-looking (but so-so-tasting) restaurant, and clinked our glasses to our family reunion. It's been over six months since we last sat down together to eat.
The next day, I was the navigator (more reliable and accurate than any GPS/Tom Tom ever will be!) and guided my brother to the Alsatian countryside. First stop was Haut-Koenigsbourg Castle, an ancient castle built already in the 13th Century, and saw many exchanges of hands between the many pricedoms and kingdoms of medieval Europe until today. We tread the castle grounds, wet from the occassional rain that fell and stopped, fell and stopped, and admired the gorgeous panorama view from the top, despite the chilling temperatures. Thin clouds shrouded over the valleys and hills, at times pierced through by a weak but beautiful sun, making the experience even more memorable. After that, we took the wine route (Route du vin) through one of the best and renowned wine regions in Europe, passing quaint little villages and vast tracks of vineyards and rolling fields. By then the weather had cleared, making it pleasant. A few glasses of fresh wine later, everything seemed even more so.
That evening, I met up with my friend and my godson, both of whom I've not seen since June. As usual, baby Sunny is a delight to see, and how much he's changed since! We sat down to dinner, but all throughout he kept on running around excitedly, testing out his new-found ability to roam freely wherever his legs carried him... everything that could be touched and grabbed on was his plaything... the toilet, the bin, the chairs, other dining guests he went around to to play with. As we were dining in the basement of the restaurant, he had this urge to climb up the stays every five minutes, and just sit on the staircase and smile. The waiters were getting a little annoyed of having to avoid stepping on him and avoid spilling food all over him, but his light tapping of his shoes and clapping seemed to take all the annoyance away. He could climb up the stairs, but getting down was difficult. And he'd then stretch out his hand, as if to ask for my hand. Once he grabbed ahold of it, he'd slowly climb down. Sweet.
Heidelberg we went to on the third day, and enjoyed a wonderful hike through the castle grounds, and through the old university town.
That evening, we arrived home early at the hotel, and since I was staying with my mum in the same room, we had a long and hearty talk. She told me about her plans to retire soon... if not, then at least take a long sick leave of a year or so, because she feels her job is too overwhelming and affecting her health. I've told her many times that she should retire soon, especially since she's still recovering from having a long cancer treatment. Together with living with my dad, which involves constant cold war and non-communication, she feels really unhappy. Just leave all that unhappiness and stress behind, and come settle down again in Europe, was always my suggestion. I was of course glad that she herself was thinking about retiring, and change her life (if only temporarily).
One thing that my mum does really well is worry. Worry a lot... about me, about my brother, my dad, about everything and everyone else, except for herself. While we sat there and talked about many things, she said again that one big thing she worries is my sexuality. The last few times that we met in the past few years, I made it pretty clear to her that I'm gay, and that she shouldn't hold any hopes of me getting married with some girl and having a family like she'd want me to. She said that she's disappointed by that... not in an angry or upset way. Just disappointed, even though she said she suspected all along. She'd rather I have a 'normal life', at which point I responded that I do live a normal life:
Perhaps a little harsh... but I felt relieved, and felt like I needed to say it out loud and out clearly. She didn't say much after that, just a simple "It's your life." And we left it at that. That night, I slept, feeling a little lighter and as if a big burden had lifted... somehow.
"Man-woman, man-man, woman-woman! What does it matter who sleeps or loves who? I live my own life, and it's not the concern of anyone else! Not yours, not relatives or friends! So I'm gay. Why should that be your worry? To put it very bluntly, you can live your remaining years worrying about me, but I'll still be gay and I'll still be me. Do you want to live your life happily, or with regret and disappointment about things that don't really concern you?"
Today in the morning, we left early, and headed home, but first made a big detour to visit this outlet shopping mall that my mum wanted to visit. I'm not such a big fan of shopping, but to be honest things were really cheap there compared to shop prices, so I did buy some things...
On the way we drove through some amazing scenery... green valleys, trees slowly changing their colours to put on an autumn coat, meandering rivers surrounded by lush mountains and rock faces, dotted with church spires, cottages and grazing cattle. It was so beautiful, so quietly romantic...
... and I manage shared it all with my family, for a change.
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